Why I’m Publishing My Early Journal Entries
At first, I didn’t think the early entries mattered.
They weren’t prophetic.
They weren’t downloads from heaven.
They weren’t visions or spiritual insights.
They were raw.
They were messy.
They were the desperate cries of a woman who had lost everything and was trying to make sense of who she was.
Confusion.
Heartbreak.
Rage.
Grief.
Loss.
But now I see it clearly: those entries are part of the scroll, the assignment.
They mark the beginning of the unveiling.
Because before the fire came, before the downloads, before the sword was put in my mouth—there was mourning.
There was weeping.
There was stripping away.
There was the pain of identity collapse.
Before the boldness, there was the unearthing of trauma.
Before the thunder, there was the silence of being spiritually malnourished, emotionally sabotaged, and systemically silenced.
Those early entries are my spiritual archaeology.
They are the excavation of a buried life.
I didn’t write them for anyone else.
I wrote them to survive.
But the Lord knew.
He knew those pages would one day become the first chapters of a living testimony.
He knew they would trace the rise of a woman from the ashes—
A woman who would remember who she is.
A woman whose words would one day carry thunder.
So no, I won’t hide them.
I won’t shame the beginning.
I won’t pretend I just woke up one day and became a prophet.
The prophetic mantle didn’t descend in a blaze of glory from a platform.
It found me in the pit.
It was forged in sorrow.
It was woven through grief-stained pages, one raw breath at a time.
This is why I’m publishing the early entries:
Not because they’re polished—
But because they’re true.
Not because they’re glamorous—
But because they’re sacred.
Not because I had all the answers—
But because I was brave enough to ask the questions.
Someone reading this is still in their pit.
Still unraveling.
Still asking: “Who am I now that everything has fallen apart?”
Let these pages be proof that God starts His greatest works in the rubble.
Let them be a breadcrumb trail for the next Daughter of Thunder, still waiting to hear the sound of her own roar.
I honour the woman who wrote those early entries.
I honour the voice that trembled before it thundered.
I honour the beginning.
Because every fire begins with a single spark.
And this…
This is where mine caught flame.
Let’s rise, together.
This message carries fire. Pass it on. 👇🏻
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Victoria Player is an emerging prophetic voice, spiritual disruptor, and single mother based in the UK. She is the founder of Daughter of Thunder—a raw, Spirit-led platform for awakening women and equipping the remnant. After walking through decades of emotional abuse, loss, and dismantling, Victoria now shares her unfiltered journey of healing, calling, and consecration. Through her writing, she calls the hidden ones out of silence and into bold, holy purpose.
