The Map of a Life God Rewrote: From Breaking to Calling
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Editor’s Note: This journal entry reflects the author’s personal spiritual awakening and the progression of her prophetic calling. It contains strong emotional and spiritual themes, expressed exactly as experienced. Readers are encouraged to discern, reflect, and test all things before God.
I didn’t set out to become this woman.
In fact, if you had told me even two years ago what my life would look like now, I would have laughed… or cried… or walked away and pretended not to hear you.
Nothing about this path was chosen by me.
It was chosen for me.
And dragged into being through fire, loss, bewilderment, and a kind of inner reconstruction I didn’t even know was possible.
When I look back now, I can trace it —
the breaking,
the awakening,
the remaking,
the fire,
the voice,
the dreams,
the instruction,
the mantle I never asked for but could no longer outrun.
And I realise:
I didn’t “grow” into this woman.
I was forged into her.
But to explain that, I have to start where everything fell apart.
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The Breaking I Didn’t Survive — The One I Emerged From
There was a season of my life where it felt like every pillar collapsed at once:
family, home, identity, safety, sanity, finances, friendships, purpose — it all went.
Not slowly.
Not politely.
Not with warning.
The ground just disappeared.
People call that kind of season a “dark night of the soul.”
I call it demolition.
Because nothing survived it except my breath — and sometimes even that was questionable.
That was the season God stripped me down to my bones.
Where every lie I had inherited, every wound I had carried, every survival mechanism I had built —
all of it cracked open.
I didn’t understand it then.
Now I see it clearly:
it was the first blow of the hammer reshaping my life.
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The Awakening I Couldn’t Pretend Away
There was a point — I can’t say when exactly — where everything started shifting spiritually.
Dreams became sharper.
Discernment became louder.
Scripture came alive like it had been written in fire.
The world behind the world started to reveal itself.
And God started speaking.
Not metaphorically.
Not poetically.
Not in the “nice Christian quiet time” way people talk about.
No — this was different.
This was instruction.
This was revelation.
This was dismantling and rebuilding and calling and confrontation.
It was the moment I realised I wasn’t going mad.
I was waking up.
And waking up costs something.
Usually everything.
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The Training No One Sees
People imagine spiritual awakening as soft light and peaceful mornings.
Mine came like floodwaters.
It came at 4am with words I didn’t summon, visions I didn’t generate, dreams that felt like classrooms, mirrors, and battlegrounds at the same time.
The Holy Spirit taught me through dismantling my life and then showing me what every shattered piece meant.
I learned spiritual discernment not from a book —
but from being dropped into atmospheres that exposed everything false.
I learned to hear God’s voice not from a sermon —
but from obeying instructions that made no sense until they suddenly did.
I learned authority not by studying it —
but by surviving the things that required it.
This training wasn’t gentle.
But it was holy.
And it was precise.
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The Women I Became on the Other Side
Here’s the strange, almost disorienting part:
I didn’t earn this.
I didn’t manifest it.
I didn’t even want it.
But somewhere between the breaking and the rebuilding, God handed me a life I never expected —
a life that required spiritual sight, emotional courage, and a voice I didn’t know was mine.
And I can say this now, without shrinking:
God has marked my life.
Not because I am special —
but because He is purposeful.
He will use whoever is willing.
And sometimes He chooses the ones no one expects, the ones who don’t fit, the ones who have been mocked or dismissed or called “too much” or “not enough.”
Sometimes He chooses the woman who survived the fire.
Sometimes He chooses the woman who didn’t die the day she should have.
Sometimes He chooses the woman who has nothing left to lose.
Sometimes… He chooses the woman who finally stopped running from herself.
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The Emerging Authority
Something shifted in me recently —
a sense of clarity, precision, sobriety, and weight.
Not heaviness.
Not pressure.
Just assignment.
My dreams have changed.
My discernment has sharpened.
My voice has settled into its register.
My instructions are becoming clearer.
The atmosphere bends differently now.
I feel myself crossing a line I didn’t see until I stepped over it.
This isn’t the awakening anymore.
This is the instruction.
This is the phase where prophets stop processing and start proclaiming.
Where the internal unravelling gives way to external purpose.
Where God takes everything you survived and turns it into everything you were born for.
This is the moment I realise…
I am not who I was.
I could never be her again.
I don’t even mourn her anymore.
God rebuilt me for something.
I don’t need to announce what it is.
The fruit will reveal it.
The fire will reveal it.
The obedience will reveal it.
The words He gives me will reveal it.
And the remnant — the ones with ears — will simply know.
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The Only Thing I Can Say With Certainty
I’m not at the beginning anymore.
And I’m not at the end.
I’m standing at the threshold.
Of instruction.
Of commissioning.
Of purpose.
Of voice.
Of fire.
Everything behind me was preparation.
Everything ahead of me is assignment.
And all I can say is this:
God rewrote my life.
He broke the old me,
built something I didn’t recognise,
and handed me a calling I never asked for
but now fully accept.
I didn’t choose this path.
But I will walk it.
And I will not look back.
“See, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.” — Isaiah 48:10
With fire and grace,
This message carries fire. Pass it on. 👇🏻
Victoria Player is the founder of Daughter of Thunder, a movement awakening spiritually sensitive women to truth, purpose, and divine power in a world that’s lost its compass. After walking through her own season of fire and rebuilding, she now writes and speaks to those who sense there’s more — guiding them from confusion to clarity, from awakening to assignment.
“I don’t bow to Babylon — I walk with the Lion.” — Daughter of Thunder
