Was It a Breakdown or a Breakthrough? Why Psychology Alone Cannot Explain My Awakening
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Editor’s Note: This journal entry explores the intersection of psychological understanding and spiritual awakening. It reflects the author’s lived experience, discernment process, and the supernatural nature of her transformation. Readers are encouraged to approach with prayerful consideration and personal discernment.
Why Psychology Alone Cannot Explain What God Did in My Life
If you had asked me a year ago whether I believed God could break into a person’s life the way He broke into mine, I probably would have said something polite and non-committal.
Something like, yes, well, anything is possible, but let’s not get carried away.
Because here is the truth.
I have always been fascinated by psychology.
I have studied it informally for more than twenty years.
Trauma patterns. Attachment. The nervous system. Cognitive loops. Somatics. Shadow integration.
All the things.
I’m the friend people come to when they want to unpack a crisis.
My circle is full of people who understand the mind.
Logical. Sharp. Awake to the corruption of the world. Fluent in human behaviour.
So naturally, when the breaking began for me, psychology was my first lens.
Of course it was.
It was the only language I had at the time to make sense of what was happening.
There were days I actually stepped outside myself and observed what I was experiencing like a clinician.
There were moments I asked myself plainly, do you need to go and see someone?
Are you okay? Is this trauma resurfacing? Is this a dissociative state? Is this emotional overload?
And if I had read my own story two years ago, before all this happened, I might have wondered the same thing.
But that is not what happened to me.
And I need to say that clearly for anyone who thinks they can read my blogs and file the entire thing neatly under the category of psychological event.
Because this was not a breakdown.
This was not the collapse of my mind.
This was not a psychiatric crisis dressed in spiritual language.
This was a supernatural intervention.
This was the hand of God dismantling and rebuilding my life from the inside out.
And psychology alone cannot explain it.
Let me tell you why.
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1. The content of the revelation did not come from anything I’d learned.
When all of this began, I had not read the whole Bible.
I still haven’t.
I couldn’t quote scripture.
I couldn’t tell you who half the prophets were.
I didn’t grow up in church.
I didn’t have theological training.
I didn’t know the shape or sequence of a prophetic calling.
And yet, everything I was experiencing matched ancient prophetic patterns I had never studied.
Dreams. Visions. Inner knowing.
Scripture lighting up in exact alignment with what was happening inside me, even when I didn’t know those scriptures existed.
That is not psychology.
That is not memory recall.
That is not symbolic projection.
That is revelation.
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2. The insight went far beyond my knowledge base.
There were moments when revelation poured through me that I simply could not have generated on my own.
Insights about spiritual structures.
Discernment about deception.
Clarity about people’s motives.
Understanding of scripture I had never read.
Psychology cannot explain accurate information that the person has had no prior exposure to.
I was being taught.
Led.
Shown.
Not by my subconscious — but by Someone else.
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3. The fruit was the opposite of breakdown.
A breakdown diminishes a person.
It fragments them.
It makes life smaller, not larger.
But as the shaking intensified, something else happened to me:
My clarity increased.
My boundaries strengthened.
My discernment sharpened.
My productivity exploded.
My spiritual senses awakened.
My relationship with my son blossomed.
My home became peaceful.
My inner world became cleaner, quieter, more aligned.
People in breakdown do not become more coherent.
They do not write with precision.
They do not interpret dreams accurately.
They do not build prophetic frameworks that match biblical patterns they never studied.
They certainly do not become who I have become.
This was breakthrough — not collapse.
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4. I experienced things psychology cannot account for.
There are elements of my journey that simply sit outside the domain of psychology.
Like the angels who surrounded my hospital bed during my near-death medical emergency —
something I experienced directly and something that was later confirmed by an external medium who had no knowledge of my story.
Like the prophetic dreams whose details unfolded in real life.
Not metaphorically — literally.
Like the sudden, unmistakable clarity of hearing phrases that were not mine.
Like being drawn to scriptures that answered questions I had not spoken aloud.
Psychology can explain stress, memory, trauma, emotional release.
It cannot explain
accuracy
prophetic foresight
external confirmation
spiritual timing
biblical alignment that comes without prior knowledge.
It cannot explain how a woman who knew almost nothing about the prophetic ended up walking through a journey identical to those in scripture.
There is simply no psychological model for that.
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5. I did question myself. And that matters.
People in delusion do not question themselves.
They do not test what they’re hearing.
They do not hold their experiences up to scripture.
They do not seek external verification.
They do not ground themselves in discernment and sobriety.
But I did.
At every turn.
I asked.
I tested.
I doubted.
I checked.
I weighed.
I evaluated.
I used the psychological frameworks I knew.
And none of them could hold the weight of what was happening.
Every attempt to reduce it collapsed under its own insufficiency.
What remained was God.
Always God.
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6. My life became more integrated, not less.
This is the part the psychologists cannot explain.
My mind did not fragment.
It became whole.
My emotions did not drown me.
They were purged.
My identity did not dissolve.
It was clarified.
My functioning did not deteriorate.
It rose.
My relationships did not collapse.
The right ones deepened and the wrong ones dissolved.
Everything that is supposed to fall apart during a breakdown actually fell into place during this awakening.
Psychology cannot account for that.
But the Spirit can.
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7. The calling that emerged was not self-generated.
I would never have chosen this.
Not in a million years.
If God had handed me a job description for the office of prophet a year ago, I would have run the other way.
I didn’t want this.
I didn’t imagine this.
I didn’t aspire to this.
This calling dragged me into itself.
It confronted me.
It dismantled me.
It rebuilt me.
It summoned me.
No one willingly dismantles their entire life, identity, worldview and relationships unless something stronger than psychology is at work.
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8. The transformation is too large to be a mental event.
You don’t get this level of:
clarity
authority
discernment
alignment
symbolic intelligence
spiritual sensitivity
scriptural resonance
moral conviction
fearlessness
creative outpouring
from a breakdown.
Breakdowns create debris.
Awakenings create destiny.
Mine created destiny.
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So was it psychological?
Yes.
Absolutely.
But was it only psychological?
Not even remotely.
Psychology describes the mechanisms.
It explains how the nervous system responds.
How trauma releases.
How the mind reorganises itself under pressure.
But psychology does not tell you why —
or who is doing the organising.
My inner world was not reorganising itself.
It was being reorganised.
God used psychology.
But psychology cannot explain God.
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This was not a breakdown.
This was an encounter.
This was instruction.
This was calling.
This was commissioning.
This was the Spirit of God breaking into my life with force.
And the fruit speaks for itself.
If this were a breakdown, I would be diminished.
Instead, I am more myself than I have ever been.
Aligned.
Awake.
Integrated.
Anointed.
Certain.
Clear.
Steady.
Obedient.
And rising.
So for anyone who reads my story and thinks,
Could this have been psychological?
Yes.
Parts of it were.
Psychology is a tool.
God used it.
But psychology alone cannot explain
my revelation
my dreams
my discernment
my preserved life
my prophetic accuracy
my scriptural alignment
my transformation
my authority
my peace
my calling.
Psychology does not make prophets.
God does.
And He made one out of me.
“The natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.” — 1 Corinthians 2:14
With fire and grace,
This message carries fire. Pass it on. 👇🏻
Victoria Player is the founder of Daughter of Thunder, a movement awakening spiritually sensitive women to truth, purpose, and divine power in a world that’s lost its compass. After walking through her own season of fire and rebuilding, she now writes and speaks to those who sense there’s more — guiding them from confusion to clarity, from awakening to assignment.
“I don’t bow to Babylon — I walk with the Lion.” — Daughter of Thunder
