Why Every Man Wanted Me to Carry Him: The Prophetic Reason I Was Never Married
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Editor’s Note: This journal entry explores personal prophetic revelation and the patterns the Holy Spirit highlighted throughout my life. It is not a universal statement about all men or all relationships, but a testimony of how God protected my calling by refusing to let me carry burdens that were never mine. Read this through the lens of personal healing, spiritual clarity, and the sovereign care of God.
The Journal Entry that Finally Made My Whole Life Make Sense
There’s a sentence I’ve heard so many times it’s practically tattooed on my soul:
“I just can’t understand why you’re not married — you’re such a catch.”
For years, I laughed it off.
Shrugged.
Said, “I know, I know… no idea!”
But now, with prophetic hindsight burning like a lantern, I finally understand the truth.
I wasn’t “overlooked.”
I wasn’t “unlucky.”
I wasn’t “too much” or “too strong” or “too independent.”
No.
Every man I ever met wanted me to carry him.
Not one of them wanted to walk beside me.
They wanted to lean on me.
Rest in me.
Draw from me.
Let me become their clarity, their backbone, their motivation, their emotional regulator, their spiritual compass, their structure, their atmosphere, their mother and their muse.
I didn’t attract partners.
I attracted men looking for a refuge.
And God — in His mercy — refused to let me marry any of them.
Why People Couldn’t Understand Why I Wasn’t Married
When I stayed with a married couple who were close friends of mine, they said it constantly:
“We can’t understand how you’re not married. You’re a catch.”
And they meant it.
But what they didn’t realise was this:
Everything they admired in me was exactly what caused men to collapse around me.
My competence?
Men saw convenience.
My strength?
Men saw a hiding place.
My discernment?
Men saw emotional labour they wanted me to carry for them.
My atmosphere?
Men saw free spiritual stabilisation.
My kindness?
Men saw a woman who would fix their lives.
My leadership?
Men saw someone who could do the work they didn’t want to grow into.
My fire?
Men saw a home they wanted to live in without ever building anything.
They weren’t drawn to me because they were my match.
They were drawn because I made life feel easier for them.
The Pattern Wasn’t Personal — It Was Prophetic
I can finally say it plainly:
Prophetic women don’t attract equals unless God sends one.
They attract the hungry, the wounded, the insecure, the dependent, and the spiritually hollow.
Because prophetic women carry things:
• authority
• clarity
• atmosphere
• anointing
• emotional depth
• spiritual backbone
• supernatural discernment
• resilience forged by fire
Broken men feel that immediately — and they interpret it as chemistry.
But it’s not chemistry.
It’s need.
It’s hunger.
It’s spiritual deficit.
And God never allowed those relationships to work.
Because He refused to let me become the entire emotional architecture of a marriage.
He refused to let me be the saviour a man substituted for God.
He refused to let a relationship consume the calling on my life.
He wasn’t rejecting me.
He was protecting me.
Every Man Eventually Showed the Same Thing
When I look back now, the pattern is unmistakable:
Men who turned monstrous when drinking.
Men who collapsed into my strength.
Men who grew jealous.
Men who needed mothering.
Men who secretly wanted rescuing.
Men who wanted my clarity but not my calling.
Men who wanted my fire but not my discipline.
Men who wanted my emotional intelligence because they had none.
Men who wanted the benefits of a prophet but not the responsibility of a man.
And then men like this — who, after enough time around me, started looking at me as if I symbolised the life they never built for themselves.
Not attraction — exposure.
Not romance — reliance.
Every man was unconsciously saying:
“Carry me.”
And God said a firm, sovereign, eternal no.
Biblical Women Who Carried the Same Pattern
This isn’t new.
It’s ancient.
Deborah
Men came to her when they didn’t want to lead themselves.
Huldah
Prophets and priests sought her guidance because they couldn’t hear God clearly.
Esther
Chosen because she carried discernment others didn’t.
Mary Magdalene
Drawn to Jesus because her spiritual depth unnerved the religious.
The Proverbs 31 woman
Required a man strong enough to sit in the gate — not a child in a man’s body.
Prophetic women have always had fewer marriage options.
Why?
Because it takes a God-forged man to stand beside a God-forged woman.
Anything less becomes parasitic.
The Revelation That Healed Me
For decades, a quiet shame lived in my chest:
Why hasn’t anyone chosen me?
Why does every relationship blow up?
Why do men shift around me?
Why do they become needy or jealous or unhinged?
Why have I never met my match?
Now I finally understand:
I was never someone’s missing piece.
I was their missing backbone.
And God refused to let me marry a man who needed carrying.
He hid me.
He covered me.
He withheld me.
He preserved me.
He protected the mantle, the calling, the assignment, the anointing.
I wasn’t “left out.”
I was set apart.
Not because I am unlovable —
but because my destiny required uncompromised space.
I wasn’t rejected.
I was shielded.
I wasn’t overlooked.
I was reserved.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.” ~ Exodus 14:14
“Do not give your strength to those who will waste it.” ~ Proverbs 31 (principle)
“Set apart for Me the one I have chosen.” ~ Acts 13:2 (pattern)
With fire and grace,
This message carries fire. Pass it on. 👇🏻
Victoria Player is the founder of Daughter of Thunder, a movement awakening spiritually sensitive women to truth, purpose, and divine power in a world that’s lost its compass. After walking through her own season of fire and rebuilding, she now writes and speaks to those who sense there’s more — guiding them from confusion to clarity, from awakening to assignment.
“I don’t bow to Babylon — I walk with the Lion.” — Daughter of Thunder
