Part 4 – I Gave Him Grace, then Gave Him the Gate
🎧 Prefer to listen? Hear the spoken-word version above.
Editor’s Note: This journal entry comes from the earliest stage of my awakening — before the Holy Spirit began reshaping my heart, healing my wounds, and refining my voice. I am sharing it exactly as it was written, because transformation requires truth. This is the unprocessed, unsanitised version of me. The woman God would later rebuild into something far stronger.
I didn’t storm in.
I didn’t demand explanations.
I didn’t drag him into a courtroom built from my disappointment.
I gave him grace.
Grace to show up.
Grace to step up.
Grace to meet me at the level of intention, emotional intelligence, and maturity I walked in with from day one.
For a while, I waited.
I watched.
I gave him chances wrapped in patience, brushed with curiosity, and edged with a little flirtation — just in case there was substance behind the swagger.
But every time the moment came?
He fell short.
Not of my standards —
but of his own words.
His actions couldn’t stretch far enough to meet the truth he pretended to speak.
His talk was cheap.
And even that ran thin.
I was never bitter.
I was never cruel.
I came open — to connection, to growth, to building something real.
But he handled a Queen like a convenience.
He mishandled what could have been a moment, a memory, a chapter worth writing.
He mistook my sweetness for submission, my abstinence for inexperience, and my silence for permission.
Wrong on every single count.
So eventually, I did what any woman with self-respect and a functioning discernment switch would do.
I gave him the gate.
Grace walked out with her head high.
And the Lioness closed the door behind her.
No theatrics.
No venom.
No flaming exit.
Just a perfectly timed truth bomb tucked inside a message —
a little velvet-wrapped justice,
a quiet reminder of exactly what he fumbled
and why it will NEVER be returning to his hands.
Because I don’t hand out chances.
I hand out lessons.
And once the lesson lands?
Class is dismissed.
And the Queen moves on.
Reflection (Written Later, After the Spirit’s Work):
Looking back, this entry shows the woman I was before the Holy Spirit softened my edges and sanctified my strength. I can see now how much of my fire was still shaped by unhealed wounds and patterns that God later uprooted. But I also see the truth: this moment marked the beginning of my boundary awakening. The place where God began teaching me identity, discernment, and the difference between grace and enabling. This was the spark He would grow into transformation.
With fire and grace,
This message carries fire. Pass it on. 👇🏻
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Victoria Player is an emerging prophetic voice, spiritual disruptor, and single mother based in the UK. She is the founder of Daughter of Thunder—a raw, Spirit-led platform for awakening women and equipping the remnant. After walking through decades of emotional abuse, loss, and dismantling, Victoria now shares her unfiltered journey of healing, calling, and consecration. Through her writing, she calls the hidden ones out of silence and into bold, holy purpose.
